FINDING GOW

I'm not as savvy about the Battle Network series as I should be, as much as I do enjoy following the story/characters. It's just the random encounter rates that get to me, aaaahhaahaharrrggh.

I did play Battle Network 5: Team Colonel, however!...and the fact that I think Barrel's hot has nothing to do with it. Well, maybe a little. But the series has other merits...

For example, I really like the way the BN series in general puts a strong focus on the children of Dr's Wily and Light. It's amazing how it adds a whole new dimension to the scientists. All the other MM series would have you believe that scientists don't have genitals. Only Cossack got lucky. Even the Warning on Megaman X's capsule is a testament to the fact that non-BN Thomas Light never scored and probably never had any companionship except for his robots and maybe a dead dog. Also, BN's young Dr Light (Hikari) is an adorable, chubby lil' bear cub.

On that note, the Wily <--> Regal connection in Battle Network 5 is highly interesting, especially since Wily's the one who asked Barrel to stop his mad bastard of a son. What bothers me a little is the idea that Wily has any compassion for the world at large. I never got the impression that he ever wanted anything less than destruction for the earth, and suddenly we're looking at a kinder, softer leader of the World Three? But BN5 proves that there's no need to lose hope just yet, because we finally got a look at...

HUB! :D :D :D With his cute little bum. Maybe it was the funny ghostly colour of his portrait and/or the fact that he had no bandana, but he doesn't look much like Lan. His transfer to PET-form was supposed to work only because he and Lan are identical twins and share the same DNA. The definitions and genetics behind twins can get a bit confusing, but Dr Hikari specifically told Lan that he came from the same egg as Hub. Meaning, literally, they came from the same egg cell. Identical twins develop when an egg splits as soon as it's been fertilised. So they shouldn't look different at all. But again, it might've been the nature of his portrait.

Other points of interest in the game...

-- Higsby. Is going to propose marriage to his chip bitch. O. M. G. How cute is that? I think I squee'd. Incidentally, Higsby is the reason behind one of Barrel's ultra rare flashes of personality: Everybody is understandably dismayed at the idea of hypergeek joining the Team, and Barrel reassures them that Higsby'll be a strong companion because he's fighting to protect someone he cares about.

-- Gow the dog looks a hell of a lot like Paprika from Megaman Legends. This probably isn't a coincidence. While I'm on the subject, I wonder why the Japanese love bull terriers so much?

-- Yeah, I'm so sure that Barrel paired up with Ribitta in Nebula's fortress because of her abilities to dispel the Dark Power. Sure thing Fred, you go off with Daphne now. Haha. I'm kidding. I think Barrel's sex drive died in the war.

...Took her long enough to start sobbing over her husband's capture. Probably started after the troubles in ACDC down forced the milkman to cut back his deliveries of white, creamy goodness. Then again, Yuichiro never is at home, so Lan's mom is probably already completely desensitised to the silence of an empty house and drafty bed, and she honestly didn't notice his abscence.

-- The translation's not so good. Well, it's not terrible, but it really lacks emotion ... unless everyone really does stand around acting like sedated zombies during the game's most dramatic moments, including the kidnapping of Lan's friends, father, Colonel and Megaman.

-- I know that the BN games, particularily the American translations, kind of have a wanky geography behind them, but I actually believe that Dingo -- despite his connection to Raoul -- is supposed to be an Australian aboriginal instead of a standard Native American. I think that's an interesting change of pace. He was also one of the only characters with a personality, even if it didn't go beyond wanting to bust shit up. According to Heatman, however, Dingo's character designer merely forgot that a Dingo is an Aussie-exclusive animal.

And the sun sets over another BN game. FIGHT MEGAMAN! FOR EVERLASTING FREE PARKING at concert events, etc.



BACK